Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Who am I?



I am a chef, a full time maid, a teacher, a zombie, a therapist, a pediatrician, an engineer, nutritionist, entrepreneur ,exercise scientist, a role model, dancer, a safety inspector, lizard or cockroach killer(if that counts as an occupation.) Who am I?
You guessed it right, I am a mom! I am everything but me!
I don’t have time for myself. I could easily spare 30 minutes a day for a workout but taking kids to the park daily is a must for their harmonious development. I could sleep early, but my son requested for a homemade pizza for school lunch tomorrow. I could read a good book myself but I have to wash kid’s dirty clothes which were heavily soiled because they were exploring the nature outside.
I could easily have a chunk of time for me and my spouse everyday but that means I could be depriving my kids of the quality time that they need for their emotional development.
I keep forgetting to take my multivitamins, but the guilt I get for forgetting to bring his/her favorite chocolate is immense.
I cannot imagine or afford to fall sick. A sick day for me means unlimited chaos. Every day I promise myself that I will take care of myself, but then the next morning zilch.
Why do we all mothers take ourselves so lightly? Why don’t we realize that by ignoring ourselves now we are calling for unknown or uncalled sickness in the future?
It’s very essential to take care of yourself today, because a healthy and happy mom means a happy house. An advice for all the mothers out there” The only way to save others is saving you first.”

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

They went to school and never came back!!

Why? I could only ask why? And yes I know the answer to this why, because the loss of those innocent lives has hurt the most. I just cannot stop thinking about the mothers who would be waiting for their sons/ daughters to come back home, after cleaning up the house, so that they could make mess again. The mother who prepared yummiest food adding all her love and knowing that she will have to run behind or plead the kids to eat it. Or the mother, who has finally bought his kids favorite car after saving money the whole month. Or the tired father who after coming back from work takes kids out to the park . Or the father who goes to work even when he is sick so that he could earn enough to pay his children's fees.
My heart breaks when I think about the mother who wakes up everyday for her children. Who becomes happy because she saw her kid smiling, who is proud because her kid brought home an award, who is delighted because today her son/daughter rode a bike all by himself. The mother who gave up all her dreams, passions, goals for her children. The mother who gave all the bread to her little daughter saying that she is not hungry today. The father who gave his favorite chocolate to his son saying that he doesn’t like chocolate anymore. The parents whose life, wishes, happiness, emotions, everything revolves around their kids.
No one can never ever understand the extent of pain that mother is going through who just lost her child. We can empathize , change our display pictures, share our emotions but, can never repair what has been done. Nobody can . I don’t know who to blame, what to do, I can only pray to God to give sabr to the parents.  I don’t now how to condole the mother who had her last breakfast, gave her last kiss and said the last good bye to her son/daughter this morning.



Luka Chuppi bahut huyi saamne aa ja naa
Enough of hide and seek, come before me.
Kahan kahan dhoondha tujhe
I searched for you everywhere.
Thak gayi hai ab teri maa
Your mother is now tired.
Aaja saanjh hui mujhe teri fikar
Its evening and I'm worried about you
Dhundhla gayi dekh meri nazar aa ja na
Hazy is what my sight is, come to me

Kya bataoon maa kahan hoon main.
What do I tell you about the place where I am, mother?
Yahan udney ko mere khula aasmaan hai
There is freedom and independence like the vast sky here.
Tere kisson jaisa bhola salona
Like your stories, innocent and beautiful-
Jahan hain yahan sapno vala
-is a dreamland here.
Meri patang ho befikar udd rahi hai maa
My kite (I am) is flying without any worries maa.
Dor koi loote nahin beech se kaate na
Nobody to steal or cut my kite's string.

Teri raah takein aankhiyaan
My eyes are waiting for you
Jaane kaisa kaisa hoye jiyaa
My heart is going through various emotions.
Dhire dhire aangan uthre andhera, mera deep kahan
Slowly darkness in creeping in the courtyard, where is my lamp(son)
Dhalke suraj kare ishara chanda tu hai kahan
The sun is setting and gesturing to the moon, where are you?
Mere chanda tu hai kahan
Where are you my moon (son)?

Friday, August 1, 2014

You say it best when you say nothing at all.


The Respected Guests.

Guests enjoying the games.




I would start by quoting few lines from the famous song "When You Say Nothing at All" written by  Paul Overstreet & Don Schlitz.

It's amazing how you
Can speak right to my heart.
Without saying a word
You can light up the dark.

Try as I may, I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing.


I have been trying hard to write about my experience at Abiding Savior Church Meals & Blessings.  The experience that if not completely but instantly changed my perspective towards people with intellectual and developmental disabilities and the elderly.  I am and will always be thankful to my neighbor Carolyn for opening this window of light in my life.

One day while talking to her she told me that she has been busy planning for meals and blessings. I didn’t have any idea what meals and blessing was all about, I just offered her if she needed any help and she was nice to invite me to the event. She explained me that they prepare lunch and different activities for elderly people with developmental disabilities. At first I was dubious and scared. I asked Carolyn millions of questions like how would I talk to them, how would I offer help if they needed so on and so forth.  And one perfect answer she gave me was; “ You will know yourself”.

It was Sunday, April 13th and I went to the Easter event at the Abiding Savior Lutheran Church. The volunteers who were busy preparing for the event warmly welcomed me. I was amazed to see so many people of all ages putting there best to make the event successful.  Everything and everybody was so organized and was keen to do anything and everything. I was totally impressed by the two young teens who were putting their heart and soul and running around to do the arrangements. Such pure were their souls that instead of lazing around on Sunday morning at home they were doing this good deed just for God.
 
Enjoying the Lunch
Parachute fun

It was around 11:30 am when the guests started to arrive. Most of them giggled like little kids after seeing all the decorations, gift baskets and games, that was done only for them.  I was assigned to help them creating arts and crafts. I must say I never have encountered such pure and simple souls. The sense of achievement after creating a simple artwork or winning a game was unmatched.  They were just like babies who with just little attention grinned and gleamed.  Some of them told me stories when they were young and also about their kids.  In return of my attention and time they showered me with lots and lots of hugs. Some of them couldn’t talk, but the smile on their faces expressed everything. I can never forget when one of the guests held my hands, kissed them and said everything with his eyes. That very day I felt that a special mix of compassion, empathy and openness has been born inside me.

I left the church and cried like babies. I missed my parents even more who are thousands of miles away. I missed my grand mother who is no more with us. Every nations elderly are very precious. They gave us their lives, time money and everything.  They took care of us when we needed it but when they need us we consider them as burdens on us. They spent thousands of hours listening to our frivolous talks but now we do have seconds to spare for them. Its time that we should cherish, them thank them, because once they leave, their will be only regrets left. We sometimes get so busy in pleasing others, ourselves and our kids that we totally forget the people who have been the most influential.

As God says in Quran, chapter 4, verse 36
and serve Allah and do not associate any thing with him and be good to the parents and to the near of kin and the orphans and the needy and the neighbor of (your) kin and the alien neighbor, and the companion in a journey and the wayfarer and those whom your right hands possess; surely Allah does not love him who is proud, boastful;”

Reverend. Steve Leinhos, Ministry Consultant from Bethesda Lutheran Communities quoted few lines from Gospel of Luke in his email to me:

“I am reminded that Meals and Blessings ministry is like that described in 
Luke 14:12-14:

12 Then Jesus said… “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. 13 But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, 14 and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

One does go out of their way to please their superiors, relatives etc. to earn favors. But, I was amazed that by giving a little bit of my time to people who could not repay me, made a huge difference in my life. It fulfilled the quench of my soul. It helped me to be more grateful to God for the gifts He has given me. And yes Carolyn was right when she said, “ you will know yourself”
Million Dollar smile













The Smile on your face
Lets me know that you need me.
There’s a truth in your eyes.
You say it best when you say nothing at all. (Paul Overstreet & Don Schlitz)

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

To buy or not to buy ORGANIC!

You must have observed the certain growth of organic food sections in every grocery store. This might have made you wonder whether to buy organic or conventional.  Buying organic has become more of a fashion thing or status symbol now. You are considered hip if you eat organic. The first thing is to understand the differences between organic and conventional foods.
                               
What actually is organic? Organic foods are grown and processed without synthetic fertilizer, synthetic pesticides, prophylactic antibiotics, or hormones. The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) sets standards for these approved methods and oversees the certification of all organic products.  That leaves us with a question about conventional food. Are there any regulations on them? Are they safe?
There are two main safety issues regarding food: chemical contamination and bacterial contamination.  In animal studies, many of the chemicals used in conventional food have been shown to cause endocrine and reproductive problems, birth defects, behavior changes, asthma, and cancer. To protect the public from exposure to high levels of pesticides and other agricultural chemicals used in conventional food, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) limits the amount of residue allowed in conventional foods. However, health advocates argue that the permissible levels in the U.S. are too high for human health. A meta-analysis by Smith-Spangler et al, published in the Annals of Internal Medicine in September 2012, found that pesticide residue exceeded the allowable limits in only three out of 200 studies. Exposure to pesticide residue was more than five times higher in conventional food than in organic food (38% versus 7%). The long-term health risks of pesticides remain unclear and controversial.
3-4 years ago when I started eating everything Organic, I had a misconception. Everything that has USDA organic label is the healthiest and safest food to consume.  Like every body I bought sugar-laden cookies, and the worst processed food.  Little did I know about the dangers of sugar, processed flours, excess salts and MSG. I used to close my eyes and buy expensive organic foods, vegetables and fruits from Whole foods.  Just because a product says it's organic or contains organic ingredients doesn't necessarily mean it's a healthier alternative. Some organic products may still be high in sugar, salt, fat or calories. "You can't use organic as your sole criteria for judging nutritional quality," says Smith-Spangler.
                            


I never bothered to notice that the Organic sugar or organic corn or organic cocoa in cookies etc.  might not have grown in USA.  They might be made in china or some other part of the world. The USDA rules are not strict enough here in USA, how could one trust the regulations they impose on food factories around the world.

There is one more misconception about organic produce is that they are totally pesticide free, believe me they are not and cannot be. They are sprayed with organic, chemical free pesticide sprays that are safe for human consumption. I started growing my own vegetables and was so frustrated with tons of bugs etc, but I knew that I couldn’t spray anything. I went to a nearby nursery and he provided me with a safe pesticide. He told me that there is a list of safe pesticides that USDA has approved. These are not chemicals but food based substances. For e.g. a spray with pepper, garlic and onion, neem oil etc. He also told me that in this age and time its impossible to grow anything without some pesticides. The atmosphere around us is so unhealthy. For years people have been destroying the lands with filth and chemicals, which cannot be mended in weeks.  The damage made by us in last years have really made the soil and air around us full of chemicals and toxicity. 

People do have other explanations for buying organic food. They believe that it’s good for environment and mother earth. Organic farmers often control pests by growing a greater variety of crops. They increase the fertility of their fields through nitrogen-fixing plants, or by adding compost instead of applying synthetic fertilizer. They avoid chemicals at any and every cost. That can bring environmental benefits, such as more diverse insect life in the field or less fertilizer runoff into neighboring streams. But such methods also cost money. That's part of what you are buying when you buy organic.

After growing my own vegetables I have more respect for farmers who strive hard to provide us with the best and clean organic produce. I do not mind giving them an extra dollar for their hard work.

Here are 6 tips on buying organic foods on a budget:


“1.) Compare prices—some organic foods are no more expensive (or only a little more so) than the conventional food.
2.) Buy organic foods when in season—this is usually less expensive, the food is tastier, and nutrients are at their peak!
3.) Buy conventional produce with skin that is going to be discarded, such as citrus fruits, avocado, papaya, onion, pineapple, cantaloupe, winter squashes, banana, kiwi, melon, and mango.
4.) It is most important for young children, pregnant women, and those with weakened immune systems to eat organic food, so try to make sure those family members don’t eat excessive amounts of conventional foods from the dirty dozen.
5.) When buying animal products (especially those that are not fat free), buy organic as often as possible. Some companies aren’t certified organic, but still pledge not to use hormones or unnecessary antibiotics. This would be a good second choice. It is better to eat organic meat less often, making as an alternative lentil-and-bean dishes, which are both inexpensive and healthy. Red and processed meats, organic or not, are known to increase certain cancers
6.) Purchase a crop share or CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) to get local, in-season produce. Many are organic style, though some of the small farms cannot afford the USDA certification. Visit Local Harvest (http://www.localharvest.org/) to find a crop share near you. I purchased a crop share for the first time this year and am splitting it with a neighbor; it costs less than $30 per week—much less than I spend on produce in the grocery store and much healthier!”(Columbia University Department of Surgery website)

                                    

Everything organic is not the best healthier option. We have to strive hard to provide our families with best and healthy food options so that we cold avoid all possible food based illness and weaknesses. Lets all make a point to visit our farmers market. Teach your child that the food doesn’t come from grocery stores but from the ground. Plant one herb or anything small in a potted plant. Take your child to farms and tell them where the food actually grows. So they have appreciation for the farmers. Teach them to be thankful to the mother earth and care about it for today and for future generations and not  just get and forget.