An Ode to my Parents

What are parents in my dictionary?  People who know only to give; who are up for all the sacrifices; who have smiles on their faces even if their hearts are bleeding; they are stronger than the strongest storm and the people who have profuse love to shower you with.

I always wanted to write/say something about those two people who brought me to this world. I am and will always be thankful for being blessed to have them as my parents. I consider myself luckiest and fortunate person. Now after becoming a parent myself, the urge to write is even stronger.

Nothing changes you more than birth of your own child. Becoming a parent changes your mind, soul and personality spontaneously. I being the most selfish and self centered person don’t even think once to pass down my most valued possession to the one who has become the most precious now. CAN YOU imagine the anguish of seeing a slight hint of tear in your child’s eye? And yes I am guilty to struggle to get him moon if he asks (obviously I do not go around buying him things that he puts his hands over, playing with words here J)

Yes, your life for sure turns upside down, helter-skelter and topsy-turvy but it gives a meaning to your life. These days I am going through an acceptance phase (including all the other phases J) that, when you become a parent you do not remain an individual any more. An individual who use to only care for her needs, growth, carrier, passion, now has to take back seat. It doesn’t mean at all that you have to halt your growth but you have to change the route.

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My parents are my ideal. Two people among the 6 people for whom I wouldn’t resist sacrificing my life. It’s very difficult to write anything about them as it makes me super sentimental and teary. They hold the strongest bond and were always there for each other. If one was falling the other one was there to back him up. As a kid I use to think that they talk so much and their talks were super dreary and boring for me.  Now I realize how important these boring talks are in married life.   I don’t remember them having any arguments or conflicts, and that was the reason that a slight quarrel between them use to make me think that they are going to get divorced (kiddie mind and TV influences) I still remember my mothers cutest gestures for my father and the endearment “Shahzaday” (prince). They are like waves of ocean always flowing in symphony and are always together. (Mash Allah). My mother often use to tease my father by uttering these poetry:“Manzil unhain mili jo shareek e safar na thay “ (The victory was bestowed to those who were not companions or part of the journey). Abu always disliked it as Ami was referring us kids to be not part of their journey and getting all Abu’s attention. Ahh!! Now I do understand it J Haha

I was the only female among my two brothers. Naturally if you do not have another sister you get close to your mother. In my case it was different. I was always super close to my Abu (father). I had and still have a strong believe that he can do everything.  He was a super man for me. He was alchemist for me, whose slight touch could transform everything. Who could correct all the wrong and faulty. I am 7,953 miles away from him but still look for him or his guidance whenever in trouble. He taught me that nothing is impossible in this world; all it requires is courage and confidence.

In my culture sons are considered precious jewels, but never in my 22 years that I spent at my fathers I felt that.  In fact it was total opposite. My father treated me like a princess, fulfilled my every single legitimate, sensible wish. The attention that I got from my father even made my brother’s envious.

On the other hand Ami (mom) was a strict person. Person of few words, few desires and no complains. I have never seen my mother complain about her life or surroundings or people around her.  I never saw her being out of control or emotions. She was and is still a very strong person, and knows how to hide a sea of emotions inside her tiny self. There were only two times when I saw her crying; on my best friends death and when her father (my nana) passed away.

Yes she was criticizing about us, her children.  Her and me were total opposite in lots of things. She was a Sufi, an austere person, who kept her eyes/heart closed to most of the worldly desires. She would spend hours reading. She would read anything, everything. Unlike, other moms she would never waste her time shopping, dressing up, makeup etc.  On the contrary I was a person full of yearnings and never ending wishes.  I always had fights with her as she would not accompany me or participate in fulfillment of my unnecessary, superfluous requests. I had tons of issues with her all my pre-married. life.  Another of my biggest issue was that she didn’t use to share herself with me or was not very open with me.

“You will know certain things when you become a parent yourself,” I heard this often while growing up. And now I am able to fathom it. Is this not unfair of God that we are unable to empathize our parents until we become one too? I now realize so many things. My mother didn’t want me to be like rest of the girls: emotional and fragile. That’s the reason she kept her worries etc,  to her self. In order to make me a stronger, better person, she struggled hard to keep her sorrows and pain inside her. She knew that any negative vibe would ruin my personality.  Kudos to her, as its rather easier to erupt than to remain calm.

That’s super nasty of me to babble about my issues. She for sure was my inspiration to learn and continue to evolve.  She made sure that I succeed in all my exams. She put her heart and soul in my education.  Her gentle kiss was the only reason for me to take higher ranks and positions in my school. I use to wait and work hard the whole year for the result day, as I knew the best, and top grade would earn me the transcendent and exceptional reward; her kiss.

While doing certain things I often have a feeling of déjà vu, cause I am evolving to be like her. I am turning to be my mother , in my thoughts, and even my tone and voice. Well I could just wish to be like her. She is the epitome of simplicity, modesty and ingeniousness.

It’s getting impossible to stop. I feel like going on and on. I could write books about them and even then I know I could never do justice to the two most optimistic, caring, understandable, and kind-hearted people. But I have to discontinue this post right here because of the time constraints. I just want to say “ I LOVE YOU” and you are the bestesttttt parents one could ever have or imagine.